| memories of my existence..
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying for you I'm falling
I'm falling
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7.27.2005
nuninuninuu...
just dropped by to record another moment of my existence..
still holding on and going strong.. not that anyone out there in the virtual realm would really care much for my well being n_n''
bluetoot toot toot toot..
I really wanna upload my narcissism pics from the phone.. its frustrating that Mami Papi's bluetooth thing doesn't want to work on the PC n_n" just kidding.. what I really want to do is upload me and honey's pics.. I was so trigger happy when he came over for the weekend this midmonth.. miss him so much already.. 3 days isn't enough to show him physically how much I love him.. living so far away from each other is so tasking.. but patience is the key.. beautiful things aren't made in an instant..
maybe if I was still in my last relationship, I'd be so put down by the couples who'd PDA in front of me while I'd be all alone wishing my significant other of the time would make time for me.. maybe thats why I appreciate Mikki so much.. although he's a nursing student, obviously busy with hospital duty and patient reports, he makes time for me, even if in normal circumstances he'd need all the time he could get for his studies.. house budgeting and other responsibilities he has to face as padre de familia.. its like he's really there for me.. giving more effort, I feel, than me in being around for the one he loves..
he's already shown me such honest affection.. feasible, attainable and realistic.. more than even Marc has ever shown me in the so assumed 2 year relationship we had.. theres not much redundancy yet I don't have to be reassured of honey's consistency.. he's never really made a promise of being there forever or loving me forever.. the best alternative to those ideals are the attempts to try.. even though it is better to "do it instead of try it".. at least I can tell whats real now.. not necessarily demanding perfection but just simply admitting that one is only human..
here I go again..
spilling profound thoughts.. not that anyone out there would really care what I thought of..
kaAMEhan
I actually am getting a social life.. its good to be a mem!
may anak na nga ako e n_n" Jonathan.. or Poppie as I'd like to call him instead.. my turn to defile and "torment" a straight guy by making him crossdress for buddy month.. wekekekeke..
turn's out that he's really a nice guy..
first at the applicants orientation, it was actually Hanna that spotted Jonathan and said that she had a lil' fancy for him.. I just said that maybe she had a thing for tall long-haired 'bulky' guys like kuya Deedz n_n".. rumors went around and said that he was kinda presko so I thought that I was doomed when he got me during the buddy bidding n_n" wah...
I remember him having his hair tied up in chopsticks which was kind of cool n_n" Papo said that I didn't have to worry about being harassed, since there were big mems around on the look out.. there was of course the awkward silence when I had to meet Poppie after the bidding, with all the impressions of him, I didn't really know how to act a round him..
then aftera few minutes, there we were, talking about his gaming and my lack of motivation to indulge due to the fact that Ragnarok reminded me so much of Marc..
its already been half a year (already?) and still I get reminded of that guy.. at least it doesn't hurt anymore.. or at least as much... yey.. I'm almost indifferent..
anyway.. I think it was good that Poppie got me (for a hefty 400 bucks too n_n')
one, we're both vain,
two, we're both quite rough around the edges,
three, we have some instances where we're on the same wave length..
four, I think he admits to be uke *sabay labas whip~ wapish wapish!
well.. I just hope we continue to get along as well as we do..
Alex girl told me that our pairing was good since I sort of (did I really?) got his good side to show and members are getting along with him better..
In fact, I feel like I'm almost an insufficient buddy mem since Poppie's doing all the introductions to other mems and co-apps.. well.. at least inquiry.. by himself.. I'm just, as usual, at the side lines.. watching him n_n""" so proud of my anak *clapclapclap*..
next month is buddy month... yey!
eh.. hyperness escaping.. must mope around and bum around again... ekekekeke...
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 7/27/2005 02:19:00 PM
7.03.2005
half the wait
i woke up with the pt 2 of our cheekiness.. made me giggly all over and made me more impatient for honey to come over..
i'm so excited that he's going to stay for the coming weekend
and we can be together again..
i'm going to be taking him to recto to help him buy his reference materials and search for alternatives supposing they don't fit in his budget..
after that.. i plan to take him around divisoria, for the experience also.. i've never really been to divisoria without mama.. so its going to be quite new for me too..
then maybe, just maybe, if we have the time, we'd pass by cubao to go around.. its on the way home anyway.. wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
i really hope hon was able to fix his problem.. right at this very moment, his classmates are taking the prelims.. hon had trouble acquiring a test permit since his tuition is through CAP plans..
he wasn't able to go about it since he had duty and whole day classes the whole week.. only to find out yesterday when he skipped class to go to CAP, that they were only going to be open monday to friday starting july.. hope things work out well for him.. getting worried already..
sinong marunong pumunta.. pwede ba 'ko sumama sa..
had the fun of going to divisoria yesterday.. but didn't have any money to indulge n_n' that's also why i want to take hon to divisoria when he comes.. besides getting the nice little gift i pretend to not know.. *giggle giggle* anyway.. mama only planned to canvass for stuff to put in her little store..
she plans to concentrate on school supplies and accessories since all the stores in the area are for food.. so.. what happened was that mama became a little trigger happy in a store for school supplies and started ordering all this stuff..
only when we were going home did we realize the weight of the problem.. literally! the suppliers put the stuff we ordered in a box while stuff like cartolina and manila paper were rolled up separately..
obviously, i had to carry the box.. which i thought i could do.. turns out i could barely lift it.. to imagine i actually was able to carry it a block away on to a bus n_n"..
it shows that us suppossed weak females don't have to depend entirely on men for strength work.. i bet the box was aout as heavy as me.. which i could carry more easily if the load was divided into two.. but imagine carrying your weight with one had! guuush.. i thought my hand was about to give way and my arm about to snap.. at least i made it to mama's place with my arm in tact n_n"
wake up sobs
mama asked for the picture of me and hon that was in my wallet.. the one that shows my big tummy n_n"
when mama had a little show and tell at tita lindas place, she just had to show that particular picture and obviously the first comment was variations of "ang taba mo joanna".. weh~
so proud of my honeys cuteness.. they all commented that he was cute and baby faced n_n' actually, anyone who saw our pic said the same thing.. confirming that my baby is sooooooooooo cute n_n'' he shuns me out... joke!
anyway.. a little after my beautiful wake-up with honey.. i remebered a copy of the picture i gave mama was in my planner... so obviously i went flipping through the pages to find it.. somewhere a the end of the planner.. i saw a bit or thick paper just about the size of our picture..
seeing the usual developing printy number thing on the back, i was sure thst was a picture..
i flipped it over..
only to find.. my favorite picture..
of me and m ex.......
it was such a coincidence that the next flip of pages landed on the list of anniversaries.. and there it was.. our anniversary date...
checking the overview of november.. i saw on his birthday marked "my hubby's birthday"..
cried a little bit thinking about the newly formed conclusion me and mama talked about (posted in negativity) still about the break-up..
i went a little psycho talking to the picture that.. "you'll never know what beautiful things we could've had.. i guess it just wasn't meant to happen anyway.."
a good thing though was that..
i found me and my real hubby's picture..
and that the anniversary and birthday captions of marc were written in pencil.. yey!
thus another potentially emotional momnet was cut and here i am soundtripping... still hoping honey is ok now.. *super glomps*
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 7/03/2005 08:26:00 AM
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