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could this be the birth of something beautiful..? |
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| memories of my existence..
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5.26.2005 Just can't stop listening to the song.. Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 5/26/2005 06:15:00 PM 5.10.2005 can't help but finally feel a little down and alone.. Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 5/10/2005 08:16:00 PM 5.04.2005 just came back home a while ago.. its really hot.. quoting what i heard on the radio, .."if april was hot, may is hell" well.. ok.. that was an exaggeration of what i heard then.. ^_^" but it really is frickin sizzling out there.. releasing fumes again.. body trying to cool down.. at least i didn't have to stay in school again to finish more of those physics worksheets.. i don't think i'd be able to take the fact that i'd end up all sticky and stinkyish over again... its like the literal feeling of melting and worse.. in your own sweat and dirt.. yuck.. usually, i'd crave for a glass of juice like the one i'm drinking now.. but suddenly i have the craving for milk.. maybe its my bones and muscles crying out 'cause of the calcium deprived diet i have.. don't really eat veggies.. nor am i able to compensate by eating nice chocolate or cheese.. besides the fact that i'm broke.. its just that.. i easily lose my appetite nowadays.. and i seem to run on some weird source of energy.. could this be the rejuvenation honey was talking about when i mentioned to him that i didn't eat breakfast or lunch yesterday and didn't feel any bit weak or tired? maybe it is.. with the fact that i'm writing this entry now instead of ideally collapsing due to exhaustion since i only had about an hour of sleep.. *grin* hihihihihih.. *nudge nudge* i'm intentionally having to be very vague about this one, yet am very willing to rant about it.. can't help feel giddy with the thought that it actually happened and will happen again in the future given the right circumstances.. its not really the deed but the thought of having it happen with the particular person.. that makes it amazing.. its somewhat something innocent.. and it isn't at the same time.. weird right? its just that i do finally feel that the person could just be the one i should experience things like those with.. i see a future.. wanting dreams to come true and maybe having to fight destiny.. since we do create our own destiny.. what i think i can't go against though is fate.. but it doesn't really hurt to dream.. though hoping is whats painful.. but everyone has to feel pain to know that they are alive.. ok.. i think i'm too vague now.. ^_^" no intentional malice for those who actually get to read this.. ^_^" i feel pretty today.. despite the heat.. i think i got to carry myself quite well without looking like a basang sisiw.. kung sa bagay.. i'm wearing my fave black spag.. and finally had the mind to go back to my luscious lip gloss ^_^" (so i actually had to call it that.. ) and honey gave me quite the glowy feeling... 'cause of our morning session *blush*.. he was there to "come with me" to school Ü makes my mind wander from the realization that he's miles away.. its like he's just there.. cool.. but now i'm missing him even more.. in my petty narcissism, i could help remebering his eyes.. and how it would be good to be able to stare into them when we share sweet somethings.. it would've made it more intense.. not that i wasn't intense already ^_^" (3 magic words that take my breath away in that aspect *grin*).. baby has brown eyes.. beautiful to see and even better to have them looking back at you.. can;'t wait to see him next saturday.. wiiiiiiii... weird thing happened during my brief moment of slumber.. had a dream that i was with someone.. tall, dark, maybe even handsome.. but it wasn't "him", though people thought it was "him".. the guy was ranting about how many times he was mistaken for "him".. and even more weirder.. "he" actually came to the venue.. well,.. as usual.. let "him" be and don't mingle.. honestly, the theoretical guy i was with looked better ^_^" anyway.. i told hon about it before going to class since i metioned that in the dream, i still had the mind to think where michi had gone.. we playingly concluded that hon was behind me hugging me thats why i couldn't see him.. and maybe the guy i was with, i jokingly added, was one of our kids that exhibited all opposite physical traits, thus recessive, of his daddy.. daddy.. *blush* my potential hubby.. *faint* /// kitten Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 5/04/2005 03:24:00 PM 5.03.2005 just came back home from literally melting on the fourth floor of the non-ventilated new physics building.. btw, they had nice wood carvings of yummy torsos of theoretical beautiful people.. jokingly pinched the butt of one to relieve frustration ^_^" had to fix the data of the graphs i had to submit with my worksheet for the activity on projectile and trajectory.. me and janelle used the wrong formula for the initial velocity since stupidly, we forgot to take the initial heights of the ramp.. which was an essential piece of data for all of the rest of the tedious computations.. e, the formula we used didn't have to use any inital height.. but as erikson pointed out later that day, as if i didn't soon realize, that the formula we used was for the range on a level surface... our set-up was like someone jumping off a building so definitely.. our values were wrong.. unless of course you can jump off a building to suicide by starting from the ground ^_^"~the cow jumped over the moon ^_^"anyway.. we rushed our graph since janelle had a class at 2:45pm..supposedly, we had ample time to type the graph but..the stufid jeep we rode going to the shopping center had to stall by waiting for more passengers @_@ it was a good thing though that we had already done the computations and just had to input the new data with the error bars..and amazingly, our experimental graph conformed a bit to the shape of the theoretical ones Üi wonder how erikson's gonna do his graph since he didn't come with us to correct it.. bahala syaenough of physics.. i doubt anyone who'd read this actually got what i just wrote^_^" well..too bad i had to be late this morning because of the graph..tried to find a way to save the graphs i made (which were obviously wrong if you read the blah previously).. since the diskette i had made My Computer not respond with every attempt to format it.. and burning a CD for only 200kb was not practical.. so i was forced to resort to using nice PLDT to send myself an e-mail with the document attached.. ^_^"and what time did i finish? ehehe.. er.. 7? which was the start of class.. ^_^"""" at least i read this beautiful post michi sent in friendster.. i feel much more appreciated.. and its so amazing how it seems to give me so much credit though me and honey are just a fresh couple ^_^"came to math class 30 mins late, and was sulking the whole way going to U.P...honey stayed on the phone with me on the way and it was almost as if he was really with me.. cool..hope he wasn't delayed in getting ready for class.. he had school at 8 and we got off the phone at 7:30 ^_^"my weird mind thought about him bringing his mental pic ferrari and "flying" me to school Ü wekeke..had to sadly say goodbye then while running and sweating like a.. er.. dunno ^_^" lucky for me the room was air-conditioned and it was easy for me to cool-off ^_^"and of course being the nice and friendly person i rarely am in general though (ironic ^_^"), i asked a seatmate, Iris, if i could photocopy her notes Ü she's the quiet smiling type who reduces the last few words of what she says into murmurs.. quite scary and pleasant at the same time..as usual, i told Za, my stay put friend in math, that i wouldn't even try to do the quiz Sir gave during his break.. but trying doesn't hurt right?while she was away buying a snack at the cafeteria, i tried to fiddle with the problem asking for tips from Iris, but of course not abusing her hospitality..the quiz was an open notes type, and notes i did not have ^_^" no pressure really since the quizzes were optional..couldn't wait for the end of class though.. had to fuel my mind and body.. didn't eat breakfast and i wondered how i could still try to comprehend the lesson.. ^_^"if michi only knew.. bet he'd be bugging me about giving priority to breakfast next time.. ^_^"".. i love the way you love me.." just went online a while ago and i saw sweetie's cool blog.. so cool in its simplicity, don't think it needs editing Ü unless he requests any accessory to add on it..its actually cooler than my overly edited blog ^_^" and to think he said he only used a template ^_^"it just means i need a lot of updating.. at least i'm starting with content right? kung sa bagay.. i had that template for a year already.. minus the weird picture of me for the BG.. and the other links and stuff..i just need a spark of creativity for the next theme.. i might even turn un-goth for the blog since i feel so pretty.. with the appreciation hon gives me.. ^_^" weird but cool.. i remember saying that particular phrase on the way to my recovery.. back then, we were a bit more than mere acquaintances.. and slowly opening up each others worlds to each other..its just his way with words.. dangerous since he is skilled and he could use it as a weapon for ears that long for... je ne sais quoi.. ^_^"the beauty of it all is that its not flattery, or composed melodies or symphonies sirens use to allure.. never can i really say that all he has ever said was illusion or deception.. its as if even my soul can sense the truth in his words.. its beautiful in its naturalness.. plainly innocent sentiments.. perfect in its imperfection.. its innocence is what awakens a feeling of.. regeneration of the soul.. that a good soul, as he crossed the path of a shattered being to mend the latter without even trying, has chosen to be bonded to the goal to show me a person of worth i constantly continue to deny i am..he feels insecure about being only to offer his words.. but even with just that, i rejuvenate..i look forward to the memories we will make.. they will be memories not meant to cover past ones..i agree with what he said that i won't forget what happened..but with those memories.. i come to appreciate our bond even more.. not meaning to refer to them as comparison, as sometimes it may seem, since every memory is supposed to be unique..thats why i'm (getting back to a sense of reality) really excited he's coming over on our monthsary..and even though i have i think about 2 exams scheduled for the day..nothing can overthrow the immense happiness i'm gonna feel and, hopefully not, explode all over the place..wiiiiiiiii.. Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 5/03/2005 06:08:00 PM |