could this be the birth of something beautiful..?
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying for you I'm falling
I'm falling
4.29.2005
beautiful wake-up with my honey on the other side of the line..
got a bit cheeky last night..
being quite fidgety though, i accidentally kicked my cup of juice that was on my bedside table..
was it really a bad thing that i almost ruined my stack of studio pics that had to include "him"?well..
i laid them down on the floor to dry and continued my session with honey..
where i eventually fell asleep.. ^_^"didn't mean to..
like i said to him once, closing my eyes makes me feel him close to me..
the power of the mind is amazing..something quite like if you think of a tasty dish so much, its almost like you could actually taste it..
well..
in my case..
thinking of michi so much makes me feel that he's actually next to me..
psychotic?..
no..
beautiful..
quite bittersweet i have to say again.. but for compensation, he said that theres a possibility of him actually coming over.. amazing!sana matuloy.. so i could at least have the idea of what its actually like to do the things we keep on wishing we could do if we got together..
thats innocent ha!..
well..
sige na nga..
not totally.. ^_^"
so yun...i got to go to the tambayan finally, and saw kuya Lex and Risha there..
Risha brought up the topic about "bakit nga ba mahilig mamalo ang assumptionista?"
i pondered and wondered.. we weren't trained to do so.. it just came naturally.. or maybe it was contagious.. ^_^" just like the "yuck" after every side comment habit..
then when Risha left, i had poor kuya Lex to endure my rantings of the past heartbreak.. ^_^"
pano ba naman kase, his blog was "pure cheese" quoting him.. ^_^""
i thought it was ok to share stuff about matters of the heart..
after telling him the drama.. oo nga, he says that "he" was a jerk.. cool..
sometimes i think about why i keep on telling everyone about that.. been thinking about that for sometime..
pero for poeple wondering nga why i keep on prying out the juicy details of the book of yesterday.. maybe its so i could spread the word that.. maybe shit can happen.. but shit is good fertilizer for something beautiful to blossom..
ahaha..
its so beautiful that love blossomed for me out of another tragedy.. like the first was the traumatic "romeo-and-juliet-i-hate-everyone" thing where i made myself an outcast though people kept on pulling me back into the circle..
the so called circle of bondedness was so fake.. well.. "he" managed to fuel me into still proving everyone wrong about outcasts.. and that i didn't need all those fake people to affirm my existence..
the came the "break-up"..
where this person who was supposed to affirm your value made you feel like crap and dust.. and almost made me suicidal for a fact..
then along came my michi..
who i admit i bet doesn't know how much our relationship means to me and how it brought me to view life differently..
its really not that i feed of our relationship to compensate for the emptiness "he" left in me..its more like a whole new me replacing the torn and tattered figment of an existence that was me.. ayan nanaman utak ko..
bilis nanaman mag-isip..
poetic thinking nanaman. ^_^"
well.. lets cut the mush for a moment now..
whats todays agenda?
i have to study for my math exam tomorrow.. i failed the first one.. pero its ok, since it wasn't far from passing naman e.. and kumbaga sa english.. puro grammatical errors, but i relayed the fact that i knew the process, and thats the important thing..
all i need now is practice..
and fuel nga pala..
i'm getting hungry..
craving for chocolate again...T_T"
i'm actually missing my sister.. she went to mama's place, which i'd understand kase mama's place has animax.... T_T"""
lucky her that she doesn't have to do anything for summer.. teka, lucky ba yun? she's a bum na pala..
wehehehe..
i miss people being in the house.. its been a trend already that i'm left alone in the boring heat.. and people only come over at night..
sad no?
at least michi trys to keep me company when he gets hold of any means of communication..
huhuhuh..
moola..
i'm broke yet again..
sad..
but happy go lucky fact that its almost "pay-day"maybe tuesday pa though..
and sad thing is i have classes on the proclaimed holiday on monday..
math, we need all the meetings possible unless we want to have saturday class T_T.."pay-day" equates to the day i pay for my nice anime CDs Ü
though its going to blow a hole in my pocket, at least i splurged on nice glompable samurai champloo Ü
better start practicing na...
huhuhu..
sana i at least pass.. T_T"""
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/29/2005 02:32:00 PM
4.23.2005
waking up to the fact that someone cares for you is bliss..
the feeling is wonderful..
and the fact that i didn't intend for it to happen makes it quite magical..
i just read one of the posts in my negativity blog..
i was like.. "cool, how poetically tragic.."
but there was the ending to the post that caught my eye.. (its surprising how i don't remember writing it ^_^"):
i just can't fathom how in the few days after a break up.. this siren arose from the shadows and swept my love away.. so easily for him to say that he loves her now..
love is cruel..
but God has his plans..
i just hope that He has something good enough in store for me..
soon before my vunerability in this situation gets to me..
and i totally regress..
i want to find my silver lining..
something..
or even better..
"the"some one who'll be my silver lining..
its so surprising nga e.. how i thought that that would be my end.. and that it would be almost impossible for me to move on..
but there was the hint of hope at the end of the post right.. and i thank God for giving me the slightest bit of hope to hang on to..
and He rewarded me well with something more than i expected..
my new love and inspiration..
Mikki Ü
who would've thought that someone i'd meet at a concert would now become someone so dear to me? kung sa bagay.. the circumstances on how we met (or were paired up rather) definitely weren't of the ordinary..
even with the fact that it was last Valentines pa when we met..
now thats something right?
people have said that he could have been just a "filler"..
but i never really thought about it that way..
the way we met was something different nga e..
and the way things developed was something beautiful..
i never initiated our relationship with the point of pursuing a mate..
it started out with this unique connection..
the more we revealed about each other.. the more closer i felt to him..
even if it wasn't a physical closeness noting the fact that he lives miles away up north.. of the country.. ^_^"
so yun..
i've realized the harmony we have is due to the fact that we think on almost the same wavelength.. we understand each other even if we don't finish what we say.. or by some mere trigger words, we already understand a whole idea or situation.. now hows that for a unique connection?
kuya said a few weeks ago that Mikki could just be "another Marc..."
and that i was just wasting my time on hoping..
well, thats what he seemed to say..
i know that its hard to expect something from someone.. especially from someone dear..
i still will accept that maybe all this might fade away one day.. that maybe this beautiful feeling of happiness might end one day.. its all up to God if He wills for me and Mikki to stay together..
of course, its not like i won't make an effort..
but personally.. i hope He wills for me to be happy with him..
i know he's different..
definitely..
and with that faith i say that i am willing to wait for the time that we'll be together physically..
things may happen during the wait.. i know.. a lot of things happen in seconds.. what more in months? or even years if thats how long its going to take?
but still.. i'll still be in the essence of waiting.. (gets?)
because i know i'm waiting for someone i believe loves me..
i'm actually waiting for someone special.. someone significant in my life..
(quoting me from my depressed days: " i have the mind still to say that i won't wait for a nobody..")
he is someone i believe is worth the torment of seeing couples who take for granted the chance to be able to embrace each other and just be with one another..
yeah.. quite a martyr..
i'll have to endure all the people who PDA.. ^_^" mas lalo na that i like to window shop and the mall is a great venue for tagong pagtatagpo.. T_T
but waiting is nothing compared to what i'll get after.. right? *rwaor..*glomp*
so its quite obvious that i'm back to my mushy self again..
but i'm different now..
i'm someone much wiser, and probably much stronger..
i'm someone who has the right to talk about love and heartache and moving on..
someone more understanding and open to many possibilities..
i hope now that i'll get the time to become a better friend to others..
now that i've awakened from the illusion of circling my life around one person..
i hope that they'll accept my seemingly futile attempts.. i don't blame them if they don't welcome me as ideally expected..
hey, i don't really expect nga di ba?
kung sa bagay.. my natural instinct to be anti-social might kic-in and thats quite normal for me..
but amazingly..
i'm slowly becoming more friendly..
someone (even embarrassingly) having initiative to start a conversation with total strangers..
i think its some kind of way to relieve the pressure inside of me buliding up due to the immense giddiness and happiness i feel..
its amazing how the people i do "pick-on" are receptive and welcoming..
weird.. but i feel good..
ok.. for a little comedy today..
or is violence comedy nowadays?
the asawa of our kasama was chasing the dogs around the house in a fit of destructive rage..
it seemed kase that they were the explanation of his dead chickens.. and the strange thing was.. the chickens were still in their cages.. ^_^"
kuya wanted to join in when he found out that the wiring of the Tamaraw (a vehicle byt he way, not the animal) was chewed up..
so now we have quite the sadistic pair of angry men so early in the morning ^_^".. oh well..
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/23/2005 06:26:00 AM
4.01.2005
hehehe.. too bad friendsters down for maintenance.. and this is the only time i've got to go online.. nerd mode again right after this.. and this isn't even my nice prepaid inet i'm using ^_^"
but i was just really excited to post this online..
obviously, a lot of color compared to the blog right?
i was just doodling on photoshop yesterday.. and it was only today i got to launch it on the virtual realm..
wiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. *glomps michi*
a lot of inspiration in this.. and i'm proud to say i'm almost done with a new drawing.. haven't felt this energetic in a long while..
its beautiful..
no worries..
a lot to look forward to..
and best of all..
a promise to wait for each other..
wiiiiiiiii..
happy pill...
thank God you exist..
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/01/2005 05:41:00 PM