| memories of my existence.. I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary Love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying for you I'm falling
I'm falling
|
4.30.2003
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
well.. its looks like I'm saved from eternal damnation
but at a fair price because I'm no angel either
at least sweetie's with me, he tok the test to and hes sent to purgatory too ~*Ü*~
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/30/2003 06:49:00 PM
4.28.2003
***The Journey***
well.. friday the 25th (tadadadan!!!)
was what sweetie knows I call my journey
I didn't travel across the world or visit strange new exotic islands of this freakingly hot and humid archipelago
but I did get a dose of the folklore this country is known for and rich in
**NEWSFLASH: sheesh.. only now I had the mind to check the UP site.. man, I want BS Psychology.. not freaking Biology..e, according to the final program assignment, I was assigned to Biology.. man is that a compliment? that means I met the standards of the freaking nerd course Biology i was formerly waitlisted in.. *kura jumps for joy
wait.. that only means I'm a nerd... *kura sulks.. just when I was so "in-to" being a psychologist.. hey, at least when I checked my subject assignments, I didn't have to change them Ü
**END
on to the journey, now didn't that just mess up my momentum?
anyway, first we went to my mum's friend's house.. now, its really bad, me lashing out at her but she's just plain weird, the lady's quite a little over a little paranoid
the thing is that this friend of ma was her friend since college, and they haven't seen each other in 21 years, now that means they last saw each other around a year before my mum had my kuya (older brother)
so, the weird thing about the lady is that she looks really worn out and poor, well, she really does that on purpose, something about not attracting bad people.. to think she's a hair dresser and a beautician even
she justifies not wearing any make-up or even hair styling herself since all the men that used to court her were married and that if she goes out, she'll unlikely be a victim of a stick-up
she's a year older than mum.. and maybe its not really a bad thing but hello?!? my mum already had the three of us and the lady's still a virgin..
her clothes are practically filled with holes around the edges and are obviously worn out
and she says if she only goes to one faith healer, she'll die (so, she's like a albularyo [philippine natural healer that believes that engkantos {fairies, dwarves ect.} cause the health problems and so they use natures ingredients to extract/detect the being and cure the ailment] fanatic, literally)
she started going to her regular line of albularyos when she said she felt she had heart trouble.. she said she went to many doctors who said she wouldn't live the next few years, and opted to go natural and offer stuff to the saints for her health, By the way, her names Nida, short for Leonida.
and there goes the appropriate background to why I named this entry the jouney
yup, we went on the spot to all those albularyos in the afternoon
it was because mama had this feeling that someone or even something was doing something to her, in filipino, its put as kulam (spells like voodoo stuff) since on particularly tuesdays and fridays, whenever she aligns the "lines" about an inch below the pinky (c'mon, everyone has this), her pinkys aren't the same size, or length rather
so we come to
Stop Number 1: the Woman "albularyo"
Technique: to determine if anything was going on by the shape of candle drippings on water
what happened: well, she saw in the candle drippings that a woman with curly hair was picking on my mum. She then gave the drippings to mum wrapped in some scratch paper she just picked up from the floor.. now wasn't that so professional.. then told mum to keep them under her pillow. She didn't even see my mum's pinkys not the same size
what was I doing?: I was trying to hide from the people who kept peeking and staring at me.. while discriminating the albularyos credibility
weird stuff alert: well, when the albularyo said that a strange curly haired woman was picking in her, Tita Nida tried to give weird advice by saying:
wag ka kase makipagusap sa mahirap (don't talk to the poor), where when she she went out to buy chips, the lady albularyo, obviously offended, told mum that Nida had a really different way of thinking and that she's probably the type of person who foul mouths a lot, that's why shes got all these health problems as karma.
Stop Number 2 : the "Salonpas" old guy
Technique: using those mentholated aching muscle stick on pads on various points of the body, then telling you to not take a bath for three days, still with the pads stuck on you
what happened: well.. the guy didn't talk so much but told mum that something was up since he saw the different sized pinkys. Then he put Salonpas on mum chest and back then told her not to take those off for a while, and not to take a bath for 3 days, or did he?
what was I doing?: well. I was trying to watch the latin soap opera on tv and was quite gradually annoyed by the half paralized wife of the guy. She kept making me move.. while i kept thinking why she didn't stay put. We'll i don't really blame her since the whole house was a small room with a small extension.
weird stuff alert: the guy and his wife didn't really say much but had really weird stares.. there was a painting of a cherub head, that looked like a classic doll head, with long feathers growing out the back of the head and twirling like vines on the canvas. There was a weird poster somewhere that looked like the typical native cult drapery.. but I don't suspect anything since there were a lot of saint figurines around.
Stop Number 3 : the "Tawas" lady and the medium
Technique: now this was the fun part. the lady whispers our names to the tawas crystal, we get one each actually, then burns it with across made of some kind of grass.. then she waits till the tawas solidifies again to conclude whatever, while the owner of the tawas sees to it that smoke from the fire and some powder the lady throws in goes in her clothes, hands and feet. If the lady concludes malakas ang tama (strong force against you), her brother, the medium, uses her as a vessel where the thing that caused you pains and aches is evoked. He then talks to whatever and asks what happened, why they did it, tells them to stop and remove whatever body trouble, then asks what food the subject isn't allowed to eat at a given period of time.
what happened: Mum came first, then me. Mum's tawas came a bit burnt and all, while mine came out really white. The lady weirdly could tell that I went swimming somewhere, which reallly happened last tuesday at the Sampaguita resort. The lady then concluded that we had something strong against us. We had to go to the medium to know what was doing whatever to us.
what was I doing?:I was watching and all till Tita Nida told me to have it tried out. Came out I needed it after all.
weird stuff alert: well.. ma had a black dwarf doing stuff to her. It said that mum poured water on it so it kicked her back. Mine was a white queen dwarf of the 1st rank that said I bumped her. It said that it happened when I went swimming in some stoney part of the resort, so she made my back ache and my head ache too. The dwarves gave us both a list of things we weren't supposed to eat for a week, well, for me namely: chicken, eggs and salty food.
now after going through all that, I thought that I could get home and rest.. sheesh, I wasn't even prepared for all that happened and was even in mall clothes.. so you could imagine probably how much I felt like sulking when the paranoid lady told me that we had to go to quiapo to buy some leaves or something the salonpas guy told mum to take a bath with for three days after..
it was like 6pm and going to quiapo at that time on an ordinary day was totally unreasonable..
I felt that I was reeking because my last bath was in the morning (you'd think how would she stink, I take a bath in the morning too and I don't reek?) because of the immense heat I had to put up with that made me a human oil rig, which made dirt and dust and other grimey germs stick on to me better.. *sweatdrop* and still I had to go to quiapo, a place practically in the heart of the busy, dusty, dirty manila the philippines is so proud of to be its capital.. (its obvious I was trying to stress something here right?) while home was like a billion miles away, and getting further because of the dumb trip to quiapo...
I had a feeling the leaves we were looking for were somewhat not allowed since only about two stalls had it, the longer version of the mango leaves.. Anonas..
the only joy I had there in the mean time was when we stopped for a while at the Plaza Miranda watching old people "compete" in a ballroom contest, and the search for Super-lola(grandma)
it was cute looking at the different pairs: small old men with tall old women, gay dance instructors with "sexy" old women, old women dancing as a pair because they couldn't find a man, small old men dancing with small plump old women, middle aged men looking like they were dancing with their mothers, middle aged couples, middle aged women dancing with gays, old women in sparkly "sexy" costumes with stillettos still "feeling" young dancing with old men who looked like they were good looking in the old days.. and many more..
what was more amusing was how automatic it seemed that when the music ended, the couples headed back to their seats then stood up again a few seconds later when the next song played.. i kept thinking
why don't they just wait for the next song on the dance floor? what they're doing is so tedious..
then, it was already 8 o'clock when tita nida had such a bright idea (now thats stuffed with a lot of sarcasm there) to take us around quiapo.. that was really right, probably she wanted to show us the different techniques how the shop owners close their shops...
at mum had the right mind to somehow relay the message that I was getting really tired and wanted to head home, so we did just that..
when we got to cubao, I expected at least by then we'd get a little taste of luxury by riding an FX (air-conditioned vehicle) but then she just had to jump on a jeepney (freshly polluted air anyone?) because she said it was affordable daw, well, hello?! she has a reason but that didn't give us any choice.. I just met her and already I'm annoyed.. well, mum says we have to understand her since maybe she's really just like that..
when I got home, I felt really annoyed since we could've come home way earlier than 9:30.. because I had to wake up earlier for the Anime convention I was going to attend with sweetie... oh vell..
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/28/2003 10:38:00 PM
wow.. another few days off the post.. and what day is it already? eheheh
anyway.. on with tuesday...
now boy am I late!! I've obviously got a way lot of stuff to blog.. i just have to get the stamina to finish all the entries since there are a lot of distractions on the net.. eheheheheh.. oh vell..
the morning started off with sweetie calling me in the morning saying he misses me.. well, that day, me and my family were supposed to go swimming at the Villa Sampaguita resort somewhere in upper and way farther antipolo...
he missed me so much, he called my landline just to talk more to me
well, its was the usual mush ( I like getting mushy with him) and well.. it just went like this:
me talking with sweetie
me: ano? gusto mo sumama? (what? you want to come?)
*ate my ( my brothers girlfriend) and ate pane ("extended family") overhearing then nodding with enthusiasm
me: o sabi nila bilisan mo daw (they said hurry up)
so its obvious that I got into quite a mess since my mom didn't know sweetie was coming
a got quite a load from her.. and man.. I don't know if I deserved to hear the profanity ( drama no?) since I wasn't the one who made sweetie think it was ok.. but I'd go through all that again to experience all the fun we had at the resort that day Ü ma said if sweetie wasn't there by eight o'clock, we'd leave him
luckily our neighbor wanted to come along at the spur of the moment so that really bought ample time for sweetie to rush over
so... I still had red eyes from all the crying I did when sweetie came but at least my mom's loud mouth silenced
but of course I calmed down quite rapidly since he was there to comfort me (lots of hugs and discreet kisses Ü)
well.. the only problem we encountered when we got there was that sweetie's shorts weren't allowed in the pool.. good thing there was a place he could buy shorts ( flowery ones in fact! ehehe)
and note: even better that he was wearing boxers inside since the shorts he bought gradually ripped from the middle (hihihhi), or did it start from the back? (utot [fart] hon!!!!)
we took pictures and all since the place was so appropriate (I can't wait till we get the pics developed Ü)
and i actually got to experience having a piggy back ride on sweetie (getting a little cheeky at times Ü)
well.. that was really the main excitement.. my first outing with sweetie
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/28/2003 09:45:00 PM
4.20.2003
mao.. i'm worried about sweetie..
the winds getting stronger and i guess he'll get caught up in the wind
flashback: there's a super typhoon on the way
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/20/2003 06:57:00 PM
its just been lingering in my mind.. the way I expect sweetie to always be there.. when obviously for some uncontrollabe reasons he can't always be..
its just that it should most probably be a mutual thing.. but I take off without much word and tell him after.. when I'm like in the middle of somewhere miles away from home
well.. why does it seem so wrong and frustrating when he does the same?
and ok when I do it?
maybe this is where we detect something wrong here
I don't know
I always shoo away further thinking of this topic by saying this is the way I was formed
after going through so many experiences.. its like unconciously I'm saying that its my turn to be adjusted to..
its like when dealing with anything.. everything is affected.. labo no?
well, the better picture.. when you go back in time, and you mess things up.. everything after changes and thats just the way it is because of what you've did... still malabo no?
I don't know...
maybe its just the way it is
since he's the least likely person I think would disappoint me..
like my ratings of my friends.. the more I trust you, the higher my expectations for you.. well.. sweeties my bestfriend so my expectations are sky high
hey, that was a good simile
its just like if you break the trust
the harder you fall
right?
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/20/2003 01:42:00 PM
eheheheh... well.. it has been quite a while since I've written here..
all I've really been doing is looking at other peoples blogs and trying to get ideas for editing mine.. and yes, at least I haven't written here for the while like I said I'd do for the easter weekend Ü
today... I've just been looking for cute animated blobs and stuff, kaos as sweetie puts it.. and voila! I got my working source na Ü
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/20/2003 12:45:00 PM
lets try if my blob works
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/20/2003 12:15:00 PM
4.17.2003
obviously I'm still having an artist's block (not that I'm really an artist - here I go again...) in designing the blog.. I can't live on this template right? its so.. um.. uniform... oh vell... I'll come up with something... somehow ~*Ü*~
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/17/2003 07:42:00 PM
beautiful kazaa.. still messing things up but is still loyal to me..
well, DLing is my so called S.O.P. for the summer... there really isn't much to do.. till I get to that beautiful Anime Convention next saturday..
this particular week, I'm supposed to be sacrificing the things i'm addicted to, to abide by fasting for the season of Lent... well, that only means.. yipee!!! Easters on Sunday...
I remember when I was little when I was still living abroad... we used to have little easter egg hunts at the houses of my mum's friends and I would... *blush* cheat by peeking at where they hid the eggs so by the time the hunt started, I rushed over and grabbed the lot ~*Ü*~ too bad they don't really hold things like that here in 'Pinas...
well, back to fasting... what do i really treasure doing the most? lets jot them down with some comments.. like if i can give them up.. c'mon, I'm only human!
hmm... the things I can say I can't live without doing are:
> talking to sweetheart - he's my pride and joy.. he makes me feel secure and stable, he's like my vitamins, sheesh, I can't even get to sleep well without letting my thoughts for the day out on him (wabshuu sweetie!!)
> eating junkfood - well, I guess I can, I don't even get enough of that, c/o my former school, where we were only allowed to eat "healthy food"
> watching tv - well, I can't really escape that, since even though I don't intentionally watch TV, the computer's just a few feet away from it.. how can it not catch my eye?
> going on the computer - ok, ok.. I guess I can give this up for the weekend... I remember when the computer was busted and I lasted a few months without it.. amazing!
> listening to mp3s - this is just a new thing.. I can stop this for a while and read a book instead.. oh yeah! Harry Potter 5 is out in june already!! I wish I could get one.... ^_^'
> doodling on the edges of my notebooks/scrap paper - this thing is unconsciously started.. but since its really me not finishing any drawings, I guess I won't have any trouble giving this up...
> craving for potato chips and chocolates (ravaging on them of course!) - hey, everyone has the right to dream.. that's totally different than having it right in front of your face waiting to be consumed.. well, maybe we can cut the ravaging part out for a while..
> snuggling with stuffed toys sweetheart gave me - well... I don't really know about this one..
> sleeping with my unan (my pillow!! Ü) - or even this!! I remember crying like a baby over spilled milk when I thought I accidentally left unan in a parking lot at UST years ago.. buti na lang it was just under the drivers seat of the car ~*Ü*~
> touching paint - its been quite a while any way..
> taking a bath - c'mon, its like sooooooo hot.. hello?! its summer.. I can't give this up.. ehehe..
and the things I'm giving up are... *drum roll*:
>going on the computer
>eating junkfood
>doodling
>touching paint
>listening to mp3s
>ravaging on potato chips and chocolates..
tsk tsk,tsk... sacrifice.. it'll all be over on Sunday.. yihee!!
well, on the news, I heard that there's going to be a super typhoon coming particularly in our area.. really bad... well, at least summer's going to have at least one cool day ~*Ü*~
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/17/2003 06:57:00 PM
4.16.2003
oh well... just came home from the dermatologist again with a head as hot as the glaring sun.. stupid brother kase e... i had to pay for the dumb over priced parking even though obviously he has a way load bigger allowance he spends only on gas and his girlfriend.. and he still has the nerve to ask for a raise!... well, in the previous entry, you might of got the picture that I was already broke.. but who would be dumb enough to wipe out everything in your pocket?... well.. now I've got nothing thanks to my selfish pig faced brother... the freak blew his top as usual as I tried to shove in his head my very justifiable reasoning.. and i got a slap... well, at least the derma thingy procedure made my face a bit manhid so i felt it was just the usual feeling of a friend bumping into you... good thing I have the patient mind to keep things at current temperature instead of my so called brothers patience if it even exists... oh vell...
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/16/2003 03:45:00 PM
4.15.2003
You are a Punk/Rocker! I'd like you the most of all of the stereotypes. You are kind to those you like, and you hate stupid preppies and jocks. Good for you! Keep up the good work.
Would I like you? (female version) brought to you by Quizilla
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/15/2003 06:48:00 PM
 -Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/15/2003 06:31:00 PM
well... here i am frying my eyes in front of the computer... well, what else can i do except stay here and escape into the virtual world? besides, its a hot summer and i can't use my moola yet since i'm going to the anime quest thingy on the 26th.. i think... i just hope mami doesn't find this spot
hehehehe... i don't think she'll be able to easily find it if she does.. there aren't so many key words here to locate this except for my signature.. *sweatdrop* oh vell.. on with the downloading..
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/15/2003 06:01:00 PM
man!
this is so embarrassing... my tito (uncle) had to tell me to take a bath! well, maybe it was because I was still in my nighties when he came back with my mom.. well, thats the way they left me.. *sweatdrop* hey, don't get the impression that I like stinking up till the last threshold of consideration from externalities dissipates... ehehehe.. its just that I like being on the computer and getting DLs from my beautiful Kazaa.. yes, it doesn't f*** up anymore thanks to my *swoon~* labidabs...
anyway, its sort of a surprise how come i'm writing crap like this here when this blog was initially meant only for recalls and other memories of my pitiful existence.. well, i'm "fixing-up" my other blog meant for angst ang confusion.. ehehe, apparently, I made the color scheme there sooooo pastel that i can't seem to formulate any dark dreary thoughts, but instead happy cutsie wootsie thoughts ~*Ü*~
well.. i can't wait till my memory deteriorates trying to recall events that happened ages ago, thats the purpose of the blog right?
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/15/2003 05:25:00 PM
4.11.2003
Finally I get to write something. Its been quite a while since I got to release my thoughts… now what was the last entry? Oh yeah, the FTX (Field Training Exercise)… last March 17, 2003… that wasn’t so bad, since I really didn’t miss much, and I also had the advantage of mentally torturing anyone who hated the cakes of mud stuck to who-knows-what parts of their body with my almost ( my friend Nikki just had to hug me…) squeaky clean self… I really haven’t got much to say about the event except that I was one of the lucky few to actually get allowed to take a bath (dumb allergies, can’t sweat) and that proudly my platoon Bravo 2 was awarded the platoon of the year ~*Ü*~ I had to suffer the next day with all these body sores all because of the running here and there for the activities during the previous day… at least I didn’t skip a memory …
Okay... I wouldn’t just plainly leave it at that… lets take it step by step so maybe when I look back on this memory, I can say my day was quite worthwhile to be called significant in my pathetic life…
The morning started with me waking up really early to meet the start of 0500, I took breakfast since I knew the provided breakfast would be a measly pandesal (bread) with milo (powdered chocolate mix)… but of course, just like the dumb curriculum, things don’t always go as scheduled… we started with formation and rushed to put our tilapia (fish) that was going to be lunch, in the provided cooler at cluster four. Some dumb person forgot to check on the number of coolers since there was only one small cooler available to accommodate around 80+ fish… obviously someone’s fish was likely to be eaten by a cat or something just like they said last year happened.
Anyway, we went “hiking” at the back of the school which was very tiring already. On the way up, barely ten minutes into the hike, someone’s shoe then later on, shoes, crumbled at the soles... poor girl… Then we came back for our pathetic breakfast. A few minutes later, after waiting for two platoons who mysteriously got lost or most probably got left behind, we started on the obstacle course.
The first task was to cross the swimming pool crosswise on a rope, by clinging on to another rope. This I guess was the only “messy” task I got to join. They did it by platoons and being a part of B2, we were inevitably the second to the last to cross. The first were the Medics and Military Police. Then after came A1, A2 and B1. After us came the COCCs.
The next task was a buddy obstacle course where you had to carry your buddy and stuff while the officers sprayed you with a hose as you went through all the apparatus. Then, after that, came the muddy stuff. The next task was to guide your buddy along a pole put on two benches to cross over mud and you take turns doing that. Then you had to drop and crawl in the mud to avoid some barbed wire put overhead. I pitied the first who went through all that since they had to wait in the sun for all those who weren’t done. Majority were lying down on the road making all the mud that stuck to them bake and hopefully crumble or peel off.
Waiting for all of the rest to go through the ordeal was boring but quite paid off by a short merienda of canteen spaghetti. We had an inter-platoon competition ala survival style where we had to perform tasks in order to move on to the next, to get to the final activity before lunch. There were different posts where around two officers were stationed to give us instructions. If you succeed, you get tokens. Well, even if you lost, you still got tokens, but not as much as when you win. The tokens were going to be used to "buy" materials for the last activity.
Anyway, on to the last activity, we had to somehow make a distress signal. The scenario was if you were standing at the MPB (Multi Purpose Building), which platoon's distress signal would you notice first? well... i can honestly say that B2 really majorly sucked since everyone else had something to show while we were still figuring out what to do. At least we weren't tired enough to cook lunch ~*Ü*~
Yes.. I actually cooked, or grilled rather, a fish..
the best part about it was that even if it was a bit raw (it took ages to cook and we had limited time: we started luch at 2, and had to assemble for practice at 4, e the fish took an hour to cook since the fire was really puny), I got to sneak some toyo so I could eat ala sushi style ~*Ü*~
at 4, I had my mind set at making no freaking mistakes since it was going to be anyway the last time we were going to do all the marching crap..
fear came when it occured to me that we were already marching in clouds of dust, since the field was dry.. and that my shower a while ago to get dirt and dust and sweat off me was in vain.. still, we all have to make sacrifices when the majority is concerned.. right?
my bullcap was of no use since the sun was at the angle where the rays come horizontal... another addition to my formulation of my dermalotolgist's soon to be sermon.. I had an excuse letter kase to avoid all of the above.. but no, too stubborn to follow kase...
oh well.. to cut this thig short.. cause i'm kinda sleepy already.. we graduated and we were announced as the platoon of the year, also winner of the interplatoon marching exhibition thingy... ho hum..
to my dismay after experiencing all the joy of glory.. my bus came really late.. which made me almost wain and all because I really wanted to go home.. my thighs, arms and ankles.. actually, my whole body hurt.. so no need of further explaination when i say I literally went K.O. on my bed when i came home... now thats a wrap ~*Ü*~
///
kitten
Bitched, Ranted and Rambled on 4/11/2003 11:30:00 PM
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